royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness.– A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via jaimelannister)
niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
pizzaforpresident: I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat...
footmeetsface: spoon-party-of-bombur: multipack: amyeatfeast: stopthatitssilly: alexkisu: multipack: f is for friends who do stuff without you u is for uninvited c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten k is for krispy kreme yum this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the...
phistbump: i actually make myself laugh really hard so if no one else laughs it doesnt matter because i already made the most important person in the room laugh
sweetnessiwasonly: Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
sorou: i-sold-my-soul-for-the-tardis: thepioden: hair-old-styles: harrystyies: What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us? My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not...
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage
gokudezi: gokudezi: Today this girl walked into class, looked around and asked “are there any teachers around?” and when we said no she pulled a lizard out of her shirt
tetsuroishigaki: tetsuroishigaki: According to the Law of Conservation of Mass, matter can neither be created nor destroyed. This means that all atoms are recycled over time. Which in turn means that our own atoms are ancient as well. One’s skin could have carbon in it from a meteorite or from a trilobite thousands of years old, and your blood could contain hydrogen from earth’s original...
necrophilofthefuture: BIP BOP BAM LOOK AT THIS LAMB
World's Deepest Swimming Pool
mixedbyziggy: rescue three white women who have been missing for a decade, and a baby become a national hero pull and even bosser move and tell the fbi to give the reward money to the victims media decides to dig into your past, and bring up your criminal record. wonderful time to be black in america.
10000bc: since abercrombie an fitch destroys its unsold clothes and wont donate bc poor people wearing their clothes gives them a bad image i say everyone should donate as much abercrombie and fitch brand clothing that you have to homeless shelters so you can simultaneously piss off a shitty company and help those in need
Public Shaming: Delaware Now the 11th State with... →
the1janitor: publicshaming: OH, NO. What horrible, tragic event happened in Delaware today?! A school shooting?! A bombing?! …two consenting adults being able to fall in love and get married? Judging by the haters, looks like Delaware has become the 11th state to approve same-sex marriage! WOOO! …